Liberia

Liberia is a small African country that is unique among west African nations for having never had a bunch of Eurotrash show up and start telling it what to do. Now I know what you're thinking: "But what about Ghana?" Nope. Ghana was colonized by the British, remember? Idiot. Now you're probably thinking "Okay, but what about Cameroon?" Uh, no, they were colonized by the French. Just shut up, okay? Thanks. Liberia was originally founded in 1821 by the American Colonial Society, a group of folks who thought that black people might not want to be slaves anymore, but also didn't want them moving into their neighborhoods and driving down the property values. With that in mind, former slaves were sent to live in Liberia, and everyone was happy, except for the west African natives already living there, who were like "Who the hell are all these people?" Liberia has retained numerous cultural ties to the United States, as evidenced by their flag, which is just barely original enough to prevent Betsy Ross's heirs from suing their asses into the ground.

In 1980, Samuel Doe and his enormous eyeglasses led a successful military coup and proceeded to act like a total dick for the next ten years or so. In 1990, he was tortured and executed by the leader of a rival faction. This experience taught him an important lesson.