Namibia

Namibia is a country in southwest Africa where two million people live, but there is way more space available if you're interested (act now!). The nation is named for the Namib Desert, which is the oldest desert in the world, having been a really unpopular place for living things to exist for about the past 55 million years. Namibia was inhabited for centuries by various nomadic peoples before the Bantu people inexplicably decided to live there permanently in the 14th century. Namibia became a German colony in 1884, after almost every other European empire had passed on it. In 1904 the Germans discovered a new hobby when two local tribes, the Herero and Namaqua, started a violent uprising against the colonial government. It was during this period that Germany first claimed the title World Champions of Ethnic Cleansing, which they went on to hold for the better part of the 20th century (Author's Note: Yikes. Sorry guys, there are only so many funny things you can say about genocide). Following Germany's exit, Namibia spent a couple decades under the thumb of South Africa ( who really had little to gain from the arrangement and were just being what most historians describe as "total A-holes") before becoming an independent nation in 1988.

It's been at least 55 million years since there was a good reason to live in Namibia.