Jordan

Jordan is a small country in the Middle East, known by many as a place where Jesus used to hang out way back in the day. Following an impressive college career with the University of North Carolina, Jordan became the first Asian country to play in the NBA when it was drafted by the Chicago Bulls with the third overall pick in 1984. It went on to play a crucial role in the six NBA Championships won by the Bulls during the 1990s, and is considered by many to be the greatest basketball player of all time (Saudi Arabia has been known to claim that Kobe Bryant is better, but most scholars on the Middle East agree that this is only sour grapes). Because of its small size and its location adjacent to Iraq, Israel, and the Sinai Peninsula, most Jordanians are never very far from having their day completely ruined.

Jordan's lucrative Nike sponsorship has long been a source of resentment for neighboring countries.