Romania

Romania is a country in eastern Europe that is going to be difficult to talk about in an original way because I already used up all of my (admittedly pretty mediocre) scary accent material on Bulgaria. I am a lazy person though, so that's not gonna stop me from making hay out of the fact that Transylvania, located in Romania, was where vampires used to live before the crash in the housing market forced all of them to move to a sad, redneck town in the Pacific Northwest. Modern-day Romania was once home to Vlad the Impaler, a major asshole whose 15th-century reign of terror inspired characters like Bram Stoker's Dracula and The Count from Sesame Street. So at least his tens of thousands of victims can take solace in the fact that their brutal executions eventually resulted in an excellent means of teaching basic arithmetic to children. Plus, it's not like they wouldn't all be dead by now anyway (I'm a glass-half-full guy). The capital of Romania is Bucharest, which apparently has such a major overpopulation of stray dogs that the problem warranted a subheading on its Wikipedia page.

Bran Castle in central Romania. Forks, Washington is a pretty big step down in my book.