Russia

Russia is the world's biggest country, a monolithic chunk of Eurasia that has fewer interesting things per square mile than any other nation on the planet. That's probably not entirely fair, as the western half of Russia has produced plenty of culture (mostly a lot of sad authors), whereas the eastern half is so desolate and miserable that one time a meteor exploded directly above part of it, leveling miles of forest and creating an explosion so large that it lit up the night sky all over the world, and almost nobody noticed. I think that's the part where famous dead person Yul Brynner was from. Siberia, one of the most famously shitty areas in the entire world, used to be where infamous dictator/mustache champion Josef Stalin sent people who he didn't like. Can you imagine that? What if an American president forced people to live in camps in the worst parts of the country for reasons other than because they were Japanese? Wouldn't that be crazy? Russia was ruled by a series of tsars from 1547 to 1918, when Nicholas II was doing such a lousy job that communism actually started to look like a more viable system of government. The October Revolution was led by Vladimir Lenin, whose crazy dream lasted for most of the 20th century before the fall of the Berlin Wall in late 1991. During this time, the Soviet Union not only managed to make most of eastern Europe economically retarded; they also accomplished the previously unthinkable feat of launching a dog into space. This was, and remains, the most expensive way that anyone has ever killed a dog.

Following his death, Lenin's body was mummified and remains on display at his mausoleum in Moscow for the benefit of those who think he didn't look quite creepy enough when he was still alive.