Belgium

Belgium is a small western European country, best known by German soldiers as a really easy way to get into France. The capital is Brussels, where it is far more difficult to get some decent waffles than you might expect. Belgium suffers from cripplingly low self-esteem, which it deals with by keeping Luxembourg nearby at all times in order to look tough by comparison. The average Belgian spends most of his or her spare time wishing he or she were from France or the Netherlands instead. They apparently still have a king, but I just looked up a picture of "Albert II" and I gotta say, I'm pretty sure they're actually just getting scammed by an aging commercial airline pilot.

Albert II may be a king but in the grand scheme of things, he's probably only slightly higher on the food chain than you are.