Moldova

Moldova is an eastern European country located between Romania and Ukraine, where the wheat is plentiful and everyone talks like vampires (not "Twilight" vampires either. Badass vampires). Moldova is named after the Moldova River which, as the legend goes, was named after a prince's dog who was chasing after some sort of primitive cow-thing when it fell in said river and drowned. Ergo, Moldova is named after a stupid dog who couldn't swim. Like many countries in the area, Moldova has a long and proud history of being conquered by whatever roaming barbarian horde happened to be trendy at the time. These included the Goths, Huns, Magyars, and numerous other groups that also sound like they might be mutant sub-groups from X-Men. Having gained independence from the Soviet Union in 1991, Moldova remains home to a strongly supported communist party. The key difference from the Soviet years is that nobody else really cares anymore.

Moldova lays claim to a strip of land along the shore of the Dniester River known as Transnistria, which both sounds like and is a fake country.