Nauru

Nauru is an island nation located in the south Pacific Ocean. Notable for being the first country in the some 120 entries I've written so far not to require any effort on my part to be hilarious, Nauru is the smallest, saddest, and brokest island nation in the world. Throughout most of the 20th century, Nauru's economy depended primarily on strip mining seagull shit for its phosphate content (I'm not kidding). In the eighties, Nauru's phosphate supply completely ran out. In addition to exhausting its only useful natural resource, the mining methods used to extract the phosphate completely destroyed the island's natural ecosystem. Desperate for cash, the government managed to blow even more money on a number of bad investments including a short-lived musical based on the life of Leonardo da Vinci (I'm still not kidding). Nauru's only airline went out of business in 2005, leaving it completely cut off from the outside world for about nine months. Nauru has a population of about 14,000 people, which is about 14,000 more than it's capable of supporting. Seriously you guys. It's not getting any better. Take the hint already.

If every country was this pathetic, my job would be a lot easier.