Hungary

Hungary (Hungarians call it "Magyar" because they're stupid) is a country in Eastern Europe that has probably seen more people giving each other a rough time than just about anywhere. One of the oldest countries in Europe, Hungary has, over the past millennium, played host to hundreds of vicious showdowns between various people whose gods were hella pissed at each other, topped off with about 40 years of pretty non-terrific communism starting at the end of World War 2 (just to make sure they learned their lesson). The Hungarian language is so completely retarded that most native Hungarians actually only pretend to know how to speak it. The Hungarian coat of arms prominently features the Holy Crown of Hungary, a neat-looking hat that the Pope sent them a thousand years ago for being such a great bunch of dudes.

The crown is not supposed to look this jaunty but some drunken Hungarian dropped it down a bunch of stairs in the 17th century. Whoops.