Dominican Republic

Located on the eastern half of Hispaniola (the part which is not pretty much constantly suffering the seven plagues of Egypt), the Dominican Republic is a country with an agreeable climate and little to no likelihood of being smushed completely out of nowhere by the vengeful thumb of God. Its primary exports are cane sugar and New York Yankees. Like Dominica, it was discovered by Christopher Columbus, who apparently wasn't very good at coming up with new names for things.

Columbus: Spanish for 'originality.'